Have you ever had one of those days where you can’t do right for doing wrong?
Today, I had to go to our primary school to observe potential students for September.
I should have known when I left the house in the rain. My boots leaked so my feet were soaked by the time I arrived at the bus stop. I then had to wait 30 minutes for a bus.
I was chilled to the bone by the time I arrived but the observations went really well.
Work was another matter lots of moaning behind closed doors and emails flying around.
When I went out to do lunch duty, I wanted to burst into tears. A combination of no sleep and a constant barrage of negativity from colleagues had taken its toll.
At that point one of our lower functioning students grabbed my arm, tapped me and ran away. I realised he wanted me to chase him and we played it for the rest of lunch.
That one moment saved me today. That student who cannot communicate verbally recognised that I needed help and offered it through playing it.
It almost broke my heart. That he had sensed so much and yet, grown adults who should know better didn’t or just ignored.
I had my appraisal, it was very positive.
I got back to my computer and had a number of emails that nearly sent me over the edge.
What upsets me the most, is that I am approachable. I had a meeting with a staff member after school to listen to concerns and offer advice and some practical solutions.
One of the emails was verging on the abusive. The other I was cc’d into about an issue that had not been raised with me and they were going above my head with.
It makes me sad. I have cried this evening out of frustration, disappointment and exhaustion.
The best thing is to get a good night’s sleep and a fresh perspective.
Tomorrow is an early start to travel across London for training.
That student’s kindness will linger with me, it pulled me back from the edge, just enough. Just enough to take a breath and manage the rest of the day.
Two days out and then the weekend will help.
New week, new start from Monday.
I started the day posting:
‘Sometimes the only one to encourage you is you.’
Luckily for me, I had encouragement from another source.