I am currently 17 weeks pregnant. When I announced the news publicly on Facebook most people missed it as apparently I was too subtle. Posting my scan picture was not for me so I posted the picture below:
I have since discovered that everyone I meet is a pregnancy expert and wishes to share their wealth of knowledge with me, while I am entirely grateful that I have people to talk things through with, there are 5 things I’m tired of people saying:
1. ‘Your life will never be the same!’ (with an added look of glee)
Actually, do you know what? I really believe that my life will carry on just as it is. I hadn’t taken into account the thought that things would be different. Excuse the sarcasm but stating the obvious isn’t helpful. Also, why is everyone suddenly so happy at the notion I will have to change my life and at the fact that I have no idea what is coming? It isn’t exactly encouraging.
2. ‘ Have you felt the baby yet?’
No, the answer is no and now I am starting to get anxious about it. Actually, it is completely normal for me not to have yet. How about waiting for me to tell you about it?
3. ‘Have you decided on names, what are they?
Yes, names are decided. No I am not telling you. I am allowed some secrets. The likelihood is you won’t approve of my choices and I’d rather not see your ‘really?’ face.
4. ‘Don’t plan anything in advance, you don’t know how you’ll be.’
Ok, I will just assume that I need to stay in my house for 12 months after the birth. Again, this isn’t encouraging. Yes, it will be different but it doesn’t mean I am not allowed to do things. For me, having some things planned will give me things to work towards.
5. ‘Insert birth horror story here…’
All births are different. Yes, I am aware that it isn’t all fluffy clouds and rainbows but going into minute detail about all the complications, difficulties and issues that were encountered isn’t going to help me.
Don’t get me wrong, I love that people want to talk about it and share and be part of the whole thing but I am still me as well. I haven’t become just a pregnant woman. I am still able to talk about anything and everything.
Also, I am anxious enough as it is and dealing with that. What would be really helpful is for you to talk about all of the good things about being a parent. How about sharing some of your joys and happy memories?
16 thoughts on “5 things I am tired of people saying…”
If you don’t want horror birth stories, steer clear of 90% of the mothers on Twitter. Seriously. I am actually trying to work out if all mothers have some hideous trauma, or if it’s just that the traumatised mothers flock to Twitter….!!!!!!!
Thanks! Haven’t really experienced that at present which I am grateful for. Am sure there must be some positive people out there!
Well I shall just give you a heartfelt congratulations and wish you the best 🙂 I saw that picture as your cover photo and thought it incredibly creative.
Thanks 🙂 Really appreciate you reading and commenting. I liked the photo too thought it was quite creative and different way to announce 🙂
Congratulations! And, oh yeah been there heard that. Just think, in a few short months those pregnancy experts will be replaced with parenting experts. 🙂
Thanks! I know you are right as well with the experts 😉
Numbers 1 to 4 are the conventional responses accepted by society at present. Actually, despite the song and dance most people will make, they are not as interested as they pretend, and these questions are just allowing you the opportunity to talk if you want to. As with impending weddings it is good manners to ask people how their plans are going and these questions reflect that. Question 5 reflects the truth that one way or another you will always remember the days your children enter this world, sometimes because you come face to face with your own physical frailties and strength for the first time. Many good wishes for the the rest of your pregnancy!
Thanks for commenting.
Yes, I realise a lot of these are conversation starters but 9 months of the same questions is tiresome.
I would much rather people spoke about positives of children and their experiences.
Don’t worry! Soon they will be rubbing your belly and commenting on whether you are carrying high or low and exactly how enormous you are or aren’t! Somehow you become public property.
Yes, I have that to look forward to 😉
Your post made me giggle. I am not nor have I ever been pregnant, but as with most life experiences, someone always has ‘advise’ to offer. At least you can laugh about it. Congrats, by the way….and I really liked the photo you posted. (very creative)
Thanks for commenting. It is meant to be a little tongue in cheek-always good to laugh about these things! Glad it make you giggle.
Heh, this cracked me up. Just think, as well as more of these ‘stock phrases’ you’ve got to look forward to, you are also gonna have to kiss goodbye to a good nights sleep…
Ha ha, thanks 🙂
Oh man, why do people insist on telling horror stories?? And not just about pregnancy. Mention that you’re going to adopt, and they’ll tell you an adoption horror story. Mention that you’re going on a road trip, and they’ll tell you about some awful trip they took. What a strange thing to do.
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