I have just got in From twilight training. I am emotionally exhausted today. A full day and then 3hrs of physical intervention and de escalation training has all but finished me off. I have very few words left today.
It is like that sometimes isn’t it? You feel as though you are almost running on empty. Times like this I need to be mindful not to expect too much of myself. There are some moments in life when the most sensible thing to do is just to rest.
The concept of rest is a difficult one for me. My brain is constantly active, sometimes I wake myself up in the early hours, having remembered something I can do nothing about. I then battle myself back to sleep if I am lucky.
Tiredness causes me to become highly emotional, to become clumsy and forgetful. If I don’t stop, I get to the point where I am barely functioning. My mood has a huge baring on my students. I have a responsibility to myself and to them to ensure that my exhaustion does not negatively affect their experience.
I need to recharge. Teaching can become all consuming. Time to pause.
This is when I am glad that I don’t have to do all things in my strength. This is when I am happy to say – I am weary, I need rest.
Tonight is all about curling up on the sofa, under a blanket and just being.
‘He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul.’ Psalm 23