Saying goodbye to a performance based life

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#oneword365 it’s taken me a while to choose my word this year. I have had a few I was considering but I then had an epiphany moment, a paradigm shift of sorts. I realised that the words were all about ‘doing’ and all words that I could hold myself accountable to.

If there is one thing I want for this year it is to say goodbye to a performance based life. So my one word is enjoy.

I had got to a point of not enjoying much to be honest. Don’t get me wrong, I had plenty of enjoyable moments but they eventually become hijacked by this sense of performance and achievement.

I stopped enjoying church because I wasn’t doing enough. Why was a I there? What was the point?

I struggled with accepting my friendships and relationships because I wasn’t doing enough within them.

I stopped writing because I wasn’t doing it the right way or about the right things and I wasn’t doing it the way it should be done.

This year, enough is enough.

This year is about enjoying…

I’m not going to hold myself to account about doing. I’m not going to judge my performance of achievements- I am going to enjoy the day to day, not waiting for the next event, or thing but living in the moment and enjoying.

The first cup of coffee in the morning – savoured.
The quiet moments of the day – relished
The frantic activity when spending time with my son – delighted in
Daily commute – rested in
Conversations – no more second guessing just listening

It’s a lot about letting go of untruths I have held on to for a long time and freeing myself from ridiculously high standards I can never live up to.

It’s time to enjoy…

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