Today, I went to a Women’s conference at New life church East Grinstead.

Recently, I have been a bit stagnant in my Christian walk. Not completely but I have become quiet, just coasting.

I was looking forward to today not because I was seeking a spiritual high that would boost me for a little, but because I wanted to wake myself up to the bigger picture again.

Livy Gibbs was speaking and she got to the heart of the matter – fear…

‘Fear and faith can’t co habit in your heart, one makes its home at the others expense.’

This pinpointed exactly where I was.

Fear is a natural reaction – feeling out of control and what we tend to do is make attempts to gain control. This can lead us into idolatry -putting our trust in people and things that ultimately will let us down.

God is in control of my unknown future. So I can either fear or have faith…

Do I see the future through fear or faith? I know what I want to answer but the other happens so easily.

There are many unknowns coming up in my life:
How will we manage financially with a major works bill and a baby on the way?
What will happen after maternity leave?
What will my spiritual life look like in 3 months time?

It would be so easy to be fearful, to panic, to lose hope and strive to control it all. The truth is I can’t and by trying I would simply tie myself up in knots and become more fearful.

I have faith that it will all work out, I can’t tell you how and it may seem illogical but I choose that over fear any day. Fearing the future does nothing to change it.

‘She is clothed with strength and dignity and laughs without fear of the future.’ Proverbs 31:25

I want to be able to laugh without fear of the future and the only way to do that is to admit I am not in control and walk in the freedom that brings.