I am off to somewhat of a slower start this morning. I was up as usual with my husband before he went to work but decided that for me, this morning, the best thing I could do was rest.
The weekend was a very busy one. Consisting of a meal out with friends Friday evening, antenatal class Saturday morning, a garden party Saturday afternoon and a dedication at church and then a picnic afterwards on Sunday with an impromptu visit to my mum’s for the evening.
It is weekends like this that I realise I cannot be so much of the social butterfly when I am 31 weeks pregnant and the temperature is almost hitting 30c.
So, this morning began with an extra nap.
I didn’t post over the weekend – apart from the fact that I didn’t really get near my computer, I had the weekend to think about all that God has been doing and saying to me recently. Sometimes the listening is as important.
Sunday morning, I prayed in my kitchen with my husband this time as he was not on a rota this weekend and I again saw the words we prayed echoed in the prayers of the congregation as we met to pray before the service.
It was hot in church on Sunday – it didn’t stop me from giving my all in worship but it did mean I suffered from that hot weather paranoia about visible sweat patches on my back.
Our church twitter account was announced and while tweeting during the service – another local church began to tweet and retweet the sermon points I was sharing. it was good to build a link this way and encouraging.
By the end of the service I was in desperate need of a shower, sweaty, hot and uncomfortable so obviously this is the point when the pastor asked me to pray for someone. I could have said no, could have chosen not to pray from feeling uncomfortable and hot and sweaty but I didn’t.
It made me think about the fact that God does not need us to be pristine and perfect to use us and work through us. Ultimately because it is not about us but all about Him. It made me think about whether we can often say no to God because we aren’t quite feeling ready or feeling like it at that moment. It isn’t the right time, we have somewhere to be, we are not in the right place ourselves, we don’t know what to say, or how to act and actually it just feels plain uncomfortable.
The words pride and vanity come to mind. I am convicted myself by this. The ‘what about me?’ come into play all too often. The ‘there must be someone else’.How often are we missing out on blessing for ourselves and others because we are dictated by our feelings and the ‘it’s all about me’ attitude?
Hard to admit isn’t it? Ugly to admit? leaves a nasty taste, an awkward feeling. How often have we allowed this to happen?
I don’t write this to make you feel condemned. There is no condemnation. There is grace.
Grace that says to us ‘Ok, you have recognised the mistake now turn back to me.’ Grace that says ‘Hey, shall we try that again?’ Grace that says ‘Whoops – that didn’t go so well did it? How about you fix your eyes on me and we will do this together.’
So today, if you are heavily pregnant, hot and sweaty, if you are feeling overwhelmed by your to do list, if you are trying to juggle life and family and God, if you are feeling lonely, if you are feeling down. If you are trying to muddle your way through this journey we call life. If you have been a bit too ‘it’s all about me.’ there is grace for you but God is also calling you, speaking to you and asking to use you and work through you.
We don’t need to be pristine and perfect in our humanness. We cannot make ourselves that way. Jesus makes us that way through his death on the cross. It is not about us, it is all about Him.
What is God asking you to do today and what will your answer be?